After seven years of marriage, my
husband asked me to have an
abortion six times
Chapter 1
Seven years married to Jake, and he’s guilt-
tripped me into getting rid of five pregnancies.
He always said, “Tiffany can’t have kids
because of what happened to her. Until she’s
okay with you having one, we can’t.” Tiffany’s
his childhood best friend.
Just found out I’m pregnant again, and Jake
wires ten grand into my account.
Then, like clockwork, he says, “Tiffany’s still not
comfortable with it. Can you…take care of it?”
This time, something inside me finally snaps.
I get the procedure done and sign up to be a
And honestly? I doubt I’m ever coming back.
- 1.
The ten grand hit my account, and Jake, who was standing right there, launched into his
usual spiel: “Tiffany can’t have kids because of
what happened. We have to wait until she’s comfortable with the idea, okay?” There wasn’t
a trace of tenderness for me in his eyes.
Seven years married, and this was the sixth
time he’d asked me to do this.
“Hey, don’t get all mopey,” he added. “I’ll just
wear a condom next time, no biggie.”
My heart, which had been sinking lower and
lower over the years, finally shattered.
He always said that, but he’d conveniently
“forget” to use a condom halfway through.
9:06
994
Because, in his words, “It just feels better that
way. More real, you know?”
“It’s okay, if you actually get pregnant, we’ll
figure it out,” he’d say afterwards.
But every single time I got a positive test, he’d
whine, “Tiffany won’t allow it.”
Tiffany’s “permission” was the gatekeeper to
me having kids. So, over the years, I’d had five
abortions, and my body was a mess.
The doctor said this pregnancy was already a
miracle. Another procedure, and I might never
be able to conceive again.
“Yeah,” I mumbled, not even bothering to argue.
I used to dream of getting through to him, of somehow convincing him to let me keep the baby. Now, I was just numb.
Г
Jake looked surprised by my reaction. “Why aren’t you fighting me on this?”
I snorted inwardly. What was the point? Over
the years, I’d told him countless times that I
wasn’t the one who’d caused Tiffany’s infertility.
But he never believed me, and would snap,
“Can you please stop trying to weasel out of
this? It just makes me sick.”
So now, I wouldn’t say another word.
- 2.
Seeing that I was done talking, Jake just
wandered into the kitchen and dumped out the
soup simmering on the stove.
I’d gotten up at five this morning to make it for
him, and he hadn’t even tasted it.
“Gonna use the pot to make some chicken
<
9:06
noodle soup for Tiffany,” he said, offering a
casual explanation. “Your stuff’s taking up space.”
I knew it was his way of lashing out.
994
But I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve it.
If I argued, he accused me of trying to weasel out of it. Now that I wasn’t arguing, he was still angry.
It was pathetic, and exhausting.
I didn’t say anything, just went into the master bedroom.
Grabbing my phone, I contacted the editor–in- chief at the news agency I freelance for.
Requested an assignment to cover the conflict
in South Ossetia.
<
9:07
I’m a journalist, and I’d been stuck doing
domestic stories for years.
My dream was always to be in the thick of it,
reporting from war zones.
I’d put that dream on hold because of Jake.
But now, I was done with him.
After seven years together, Tiffany was still
wedged between us, making it impossible for
Jake and I to ever truly be a couple.
Now, I was choosing to step aside.
- 3.
994
After Jake left, his assistant, Sarah, came into
